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Thursday, 17 August 2017

Hello and Goodbye baby

It's a girl, I knew it. But our connection wasn't strong. I could feel it as I always trusted my motherly instinct...

On June 13th, I found out that I was pregnant with our second child. I was a bit shocked as we didn't plan this but was happy yet afraid when I saw " Pregnant, 3+ " I was about 6 weeks at that time. The signs came in much earlier compared to Mika. I could feel it by the 4th week, nausea started kicking in but very very mildly. I remembered I was playing tennis at night when I just suddenly felt like vomiting but it went away quickly. This happened a few times but I just ignored it. 

After I missed my period, I knew I was pregnant. I went and bought the stick together with Mika and even FaceTime Sheena to teman me to do the test. I was very nervous. I peed on it and left it there for 3 mins. I couldn't even look the stick, so I let Sheena to do it!

Straight away from the phone I could hear her screaming : 

PREGNANT! PREGNANT!!! OMMMGGGGG HAHAHAHA!

Wow, that was fast! She didn't even want to surprise me. I was very happy but afraid as well. 

Was I even ready for a second child? Mika just started school and I had my freedom back.

I told Mika that I was pregnant and that he's gonna be a kor kor

This was his reaction :





I asked him to smile happily but he gave me this look. But of course, later he was happy after I slowly explained it to him. He was happy but I wasn't too sure if he fully understands it. Since that day, he kept kissing my belly and he will talk to our little baby. He would sing and tell stories too!

How Marcus found out was different..

He was out entertaining some clients that night. I hid the stick near me as I wanted to surprise him when he got back. But I was already so tired that I fall asleep by 9pm ( I'm making a baby yo, mama need some rest ) I remembered clearly that I woke up all of a sudden because I heard and felt someone was like going through my things and making quite loud noises.

It was Marcus searching for the stick at 12 am, DRUNK! 

He kept asking me " Where is it? "   "WHERE IS IT? "

I was like where what? ( half asleep )

He smiled and said : So, are you pregnant? 

I was like, how'd you know?

I saw the receipt! I saw the receipt! You bought the pregnancy test right?

Hahahaha I hid the stick but I carelessly left the receipt where we normally put our home keys.
What's even shocking that drunk Marcus could notice the receipt!

I just smiled and said  YES, we are :)

He was really happy as he wanted another one. He just stoned with a smile and started talking about how I should take care of my health, asking me to eat healthy food and start taking my prenatal vitamins.
He also made the doctor's appointment the very next day to confirm everything.

I told my parents during father's day dinner as they were traveling when I found out. We broke the news after dinner when I handed my dad his gift and I wrote whom are the gifts from and ended it with Baby M.

He knew right away I was pregnant! He was really really happy as it was also his birthday! 

Everyone was excited for Baby M.





We went back to the same doctor at Prince Court for our first checkup. I was very nervous as the doctor started to do the ultrasound. She said : Oh, definitely pregnant, the sac is already there! but there was no baby nor heartbeat. Doctor advised that maybe because it was too early and asked us to come back in two weeks time. I was ok at that time because the doctor never showed her nervous face and I thought yeah, maybe it's still early. 

Morning sickness was real bad after that. I was always on my bed and had no energy at all. Thank God my MIL helped me throughout everything, or else taking care of Mika would be much worst. I just wanted to sleep most of the time. This pregnancy was very different from Mika's. I was very into savoury dishes and I hated chocolate and ice cream. Weird right? Cos for people who knows me, I can't survive without chocolate. I even looked more hagged and pale. Not like Mika, everyone said I was glowing. I could feel my face sagging! LOL! and I had no mood at all.



I did the M O O N  &  W I L D photoshoot while I was almost 2 months pregnant. Yes, thats my new swimwear line which I am launching soon! More deets coming, I promise! I remembered I was suffering from morning sickness and that I asked Jillian to take over as art director. Most of the time I wanted to vomit but I had to work. I modelled in my new line because they said it's good to have your own face in your line, because you believe in it and want to be a part of it. Trust me, many times I wanted to choose another model but they asked me not too as they all will help me with the shoot. I have such great girlfriends :) 

I hardly even go out. I could barely eat and I've lost weight again. I just couldn't wait for my second checkup to confirm our baby. 

I remembered vividly the day I went to Prince Court alone that morning as Marcus had to finish some work and that he would meet me there. Normally we would have to wait about an hour or less to see the doctor but this time, it was only a 15 mins wait and Marcus still haven't arrived. 

I went in alone but was ready to see if there's a heartbeat. Doctor scanned it but couldn't find any. Then she opt for a vagina scan, just to double confirm. But nothing was there. I was pregnant, but with an empty sac. I was diagnosed with missed miscarriage where I still have all the pregnancy symptoms but with no baby. She then asked me to proceed with D&C which means

"Dilation (or dilatation) and curettage (D&C) refers to the dilation (widening/opening) of the cervix and surgical removal of part of the lining of the uterus and/or contents of the uterus by scraping and scooping (curettage)."

She gave me a week to process it and to give her an answer as I couldn't even talk after that.


I was very numb when I walked outside. I couldn't believe it. I just sat at one corner and stoned.

I called Sheena first to tell her the news as I didn't know how to tell Marcus.

She comforted me. Thanks LOVE!

When I called Marcus, he said his heart just dropped... and that he was reaching soon to the hospital to take me home.

He couldn't believe it.

I guess no one could?

But it's ok, I am feeling better now and I am working hard on my new baby :

M O O N  &  W I LD 

Luxury swimwear for the contemporary & chic women and chic

Do remember to follow MW on Instagram @moonandwildmy for more updates on when it's releasing! Will do another post on this, I promise to be more active again, to START EVERYTHING FRESH again :) 

Also, I will blog about my D& C experience in Prince Court soon. 

So do stay tuned! 

Happy Friday Loves

xoxo

Michelle 


Current song on repeat : ILYSB by LANY




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Sunday, 8 January 2017

hello 2017, sorry I've been MIA

Hello Hello Hello! Happy New Year!


😂 I know I am a few days late but I do have a valid reason.

No, I am not pregnant if that's what you guys been thinking, sorry to disappoint you. The reason of my absence since November is not because I was vomiting beside my toilet bowl ( morning sickness ) it's because I've been busy with my family.

November was crazy for me. Mika was sick every week, I kid you not and he was on 3 antibiotic course and when your kid is sick, it is very indeed very tiring taking care of him. A sick child is no joke. You constantly worry and kept on figuring why is he sick for 4 weeks in a row. Why didn't the fever subside? Trust me, it was horrible to be worry sick. From ear, lungs infections to viral fever... it was very hard. Then December came and we took Mika to Singapore for Christmas and we had a wonderful time there celebrating Christmas with the Ng family. The company and food was good but the worship to God was great! It was truly a special weekend.





Then it was off to Busan right after to celebrate NYE with Marcus' friends. So, we were busy travelling from 23rd December till 2nd January. 

Then I got sick.

😓😓

On New Years Eve.....

😅😅😅




I was alone in my hotel room in Busan and slept through it so that the next day I could walk around Busan to explore. My girls even FaceTime me the next day ( 1st January ) as we promised to talk about our New Years Resolution together. Everyone was celebrating in Penang, except for me as I was in Busan and they even called me a traitor as we normally celebrate the New Years together 😂

The talk was good as we share our resolutions and what resolutions we have for each other and also group resolutions. Now we just need to keep everyone in check. 

Make sure you have a few too, and share it with your friends or family. It's always good to keep short and long term goals. 


Mika also started schooling already and he is getting better! He doesn't really cry anymore and is more independent which is GREAT. Normally he will show his sad face or he will start crying but I am just glad that TODAY is the first day where he is OK to go in class without any noise. After sending him to school, I popped by Jaya Grocer to do some grocery shopping, came home and clean the house a little and find time to blog and I've done all of this by 11 am. 

Feels good to be back on my feet without feeling sickly.

I was fully recovered 3 days ago and now I am ready for 2017! 

You might guess what was my first resolution?

To be a stronger and healthy mom so that I can take care of Mika and the family.

What's yours?


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